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Have You Ever Killed Anything During Sex?
By The Editors 
Just print out the following page, fill it out...we suggest in private so you won't feel pressure to mislead or impress, and mail it by December 31 to:
  Tucson Weekly 
P.O. Box 2429 
Tucson, Arizona 85702 
(No, there is not a way to submit your answers electronically. We realize it would've been cool but we're just too damn fond of being able to have people's handwriting analyzed.)
  
 
- Sex:    ___ Male   ___ Female   ________ Age
  - Zip Code_________________________________
  - Orientation:   
___ Bi   ___ Gay   ___ Lesbian   ___ Straight
 
  - I am a virgin    ___ True   ___ False
  - I lost my virginity when I was _____ years old
  - Losing my virginity was a   ___ positive ___ negative experience
  - I was    ___ stoned   ___ smashed when I lost my virginity
  - I lost my virginity with a:    ___ boy   ___ girl   ___ other
  - I am   ___ single   ___ going steady   ___ in a long-term relationship
  ___ married/partnered
 
  - Check the one that applies
__ My lover and I have a monogamous relationship
 
__ My lover and I have an open relationship
 
__ My lover and I have an open relationship, but my lover doesn't
know that we do
 
  - Have you cheated on your current partner?    ___ Yes   ___ No
  - Did you get away with it?    ___ Yes   ___ No
  - My longest relationship lasted  
 ___ years   ___  months   ___ weeks   ___ days
 
  - My shortest relationship lasted  
 ___ years   ___  months   ___ days   ___ hours
 
  - Do you have kids?     ___ Yes   ___ No
  - If yes, how many?   ___ 
  - Do you have grandkids?    ___ Yes   ___ No
  - If yes, how many?   ___ 
  - How often do you have sex? _________________
  - How often would you like to have sex? ________________________________________
  - I have faked an orgasm      ___ True   ___ False
  - I am multi-orgasmic      ___ True   ___ False
  - I have never had an orgasm      ___ True   ___ False
  - I have changed my gender      ___ True   ___ False
  - I masturbate ___________________ times a week
  - I view pornography ___ Yes   ___ No
  - If you do view pornography, what kind of porn do you view?
___ Magazines   ___ Videos  ___ Cyber   ___ Books   ___ Other
 
  - The last "sex toy" I purchased was: ____________
________________________________________
 
  - I voted for:   
___ Jane Hull   ___ Paul Johnson   ___ Kat Gallant
 
  - I voted   ___ in favor of   ___ against banning cockfighting
  - I am   ___ pro-choice   ___ pro-life
  - Is oral sex sex?    ___ Yes   ___ No
  - Bill Clinton should be tossed out of office.    ___ Yes   ___ No
  - Check everything on this list that you have done:
___ hetero sex   ___ homo sex   ___ oral sex   ___ vaginal sex   ___ anal sex   ___ mercy sex  ___ anonymous sex   ___ bondage   ___ SM  ___ beastiality   ___ phone sex   ___ public sex ___ posed for dirty pictures   ___ made a dirty video   ___ group sex   ___ three-ways   ___ sex with an extraterrestrial   ___
used dildos   ___ used cigars   ___ role-playing   ___ jerked
off in front of my computer   ___ infantilism   ___ had sex with
someone more than 20 years older   ___ had sex with someone more
than 20 years younger  ___ water sports   ___ shaving   ___ one-night stands
 
  - I have had sex in/on:   ___ a car   ___ a boat  ___ an airplane   ___ a bathtub   ___ my parents' bed   ___ a
psychiatrist's office   ___ a public restroom   ___ the UA campus
  ___ a public park    ___ the Oval Office   ___ a church   ___
a health club   ___ a monster truck rally   ___ bathroom at Club
Congress 
  - I have used the following food items in my sex play
___ Whipped cream   ___ banana   ___ zucchini ___ carrot   ___
Popsicle   ___ grapes    
___ watermelon   ___ sunflower seeds   ___ other _________________________________________
 
  - How many guns do you own?_______________
  - I have done household chores to get sex.    ___ True   ___ False
  - I would dump my current partner for wealth or fame.     ___ True
  ___ False
  - What's your favorite pet name for your sexual organs? ___________________________________________________________________
  - I have lied to someone in order to get sex from them.    ___ True
  ___ False
  - Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex?     ___ Yes
  ___ No
  - Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?     ___ Yes
  ___ No
  - I have had an STD.     ___ True   ___ False
  - If true, which STDs have you had?________________________________________
  - Have you lied about having an STD?    ___ Yes   ___ No 
  - Have you ever had sex while committing a felony?     ___ Yes   ___ No 
  - If Yes, what was the crime? __________________________________________________________
  - I have said NO when I meant YES    ___ True   ___ False
  - I have said YES when I meant NO    ___ True   ___ False
  - Did you ever have sex when you really didn't want to?     ___ Yes   ___ No 
  - Have you ever fantasized about having sex with an employee of
the Tucson Weekly?   ___ Yes   ___ No 
If so, please detail on a separate sheet of paper.
 
  - If you had to have sex with one person in local television news,
who would it be?______________________________________________
  - I have had sex on the following drugs:
___ Alcohol   ___ Pot   ___ Cocaine   ___ Meth ___ LSD   ___ Mushrooms
  ___ Ecstasy  ___ Viagra   ___ Roofies   ___ Amyl Nitrate ___ Ibogaine
 
  - I have the best luck meeting people:
___ bars and clubs   ___ at work   ___ through friends   ___ via
personal ads   ___ on the street ___ at coffeehouses   ___ in
malls   ___ in class ___ in church   ___ online   ___ AA meetings  ___ plasma donation center   ___ Trader Joe's ___ Fourth Avenue Street Fair
 
  - I have paid for sex    ___ True   ___ False
  - I have been paid for sex     ___ True   ___ False
  - I have worked in the sex industry     ___ True   ___ False
  - If true, in what capacity? (stripper, hooker, escort...) _________________________________________________________
  - How many sex partners have you had in your life?
___ zero    ___ less than five   ___ five to 10 ___  10 to 20   ___ 20 to 50   ___ 50 to 100 ___ more than 100   ___ more than 1,000 ___ can't remember
 
  - Have you ever had sex for revenge?     ___ Yes   ___ No
  - After completing this survey, do you feel like a slut?     ___ Yes   ___ No
ESSAY QUESTIONS
 
(Feel free to use a separate piece of paper)
 
  - What was your most memorable sexual experience? ________________________________________
  - What turns you off about your lover? ________________________________________
  - What do you think about when you masturbate? ________________________________________
  - What do you try not to think about when you masturbate? ___________________________________
  - What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done? ___________________________________
  - What is the kinkiest thing you've never done, but always wanted to try? ___________________________________
  - What is the weirdest thing you've ever said while having sex? ___________________________________
  - Have you ever killed anything during sex? ___________________________________
  - Anything we should have asked that we didn't? ___________________________________
 
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